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A Return to Lucky PuNCs
Eight years ago, I quit on a team. It would’ve been my second year in a row on the Triangle area U-17 B team Lucky PuNCs (the first year gave us this wonderful experience). The year after that at school was spent on another ultimate team with terrible leadership and generally poor experiences, and when the end of the year rolled around, I was incredibly burnt out from the previous year of ultimate. Once again, I tried out for YCCs in the U-17 division, and this time, I was offered an extended tryout at practice with the top local team in the division, NC Hammer.
With hindsight, I don’t think I necessarily played very well at my extended tryout. I have a vivid memory of getting handblocked early on during a drill. I was cut. The very last cut. An equally indisputable fact, alongside me not playing my best, is that the person I was cut for was the son of the head coach of Hammer. That also did not feel good. I attended one practice for that year’s interaction of Lucky PuNCs and had a very bad time. I was frustrated with my teammates and had trouble engaging. It was a very strong whiplash going from one team to the other. I was working that entire summer for the first time in my life, and decided that playing ultimate on top of that was no longer a priority, and I needed a break. So, I dropped the team.
In hindsight, part of me wishes I stayed. For the sake of my development, for the experience of getting to run the show on a team, and to be a key cog to its success. And I’m sure at some point someone tried to convince me of that, but I can’t remember it at all. There was too much unresolved stuff from the previous year of ultimate that, honestly, I wouldn’t even make progress on for years, for me to handle in that moment. The only thing I could do was take a step back from the sport so that I didn’t leave it forever.
All of that is to say that the opportunity I now have in front of me to coach a team I had a challenging time on, and then refused to play on the following year, is very bittersweet. Obviously, with time and space, despite everything difficult about the experience, I can see the value of this team and its importance to the development of these kids far clearer than I ever could before. And because of that, I am more acutely aware than ever how difficult that may be for some of them to see too, especially if they had very high hopes of playing on the other team.
What is most bittersweet, rather than just a gained sense of perspective, is seeing that the support and infrastructure for these kids in this space is much improved from where it was eight years ago. What stuck with me most from the tryout process is that in the final huddle of the final tryout, the head coach of NC Hammer reminded all the kids there that their development is their own. It will happen at its own pace and on a unique timeline. They are in control of it, and while they may be compared to each other for the sake of filling out these rosters, this is but a small step on their ultimate journeys.
I don’t know how it landed with the broader group. But I know it landed home with the small part of 15-year-old me still with me today. I hope that every kid in that huddle internalized that their growth and their process is their own, but I know that’s not how it works. I know there are kids devastated to be cut, as I was. And I know first hand that showing up to a space you didn’t plan on being in or don’t think you “deserve” to be in is really hard, regardless of what you actually “deserve.”
Fortunately, thanks to my own experiences, I am uniquely equipped to help support these kids. I feel a heavy responsibility to ensure that these players retain a strong sense of belief in themselves, their skills, and their ability to grow and improve those skills as their summers and playing careers continue.
It makes me deeply emotional when I think about the responsibility I have been given. For many reasons. But the biggest by far is the fact that I have been given the opportunity to give people a better experience than I was afforded, and I hope to never take that for granted.
A little shorter piece today but wanted to make sure there’s still Breakside content coming out semi-consistently. Been a bit busier with work + WUL writing but have more fun stuff coming through this channel coming soon too!
About The Breakside
This newsletter aims to tackle the gap in present coverage of ultimate as a sport. Commentary, analysis, and community are some of the guiding ideals behind the Breakside.
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About the Author
My name is Noam Gumerman (he/him). I am from Chapel Hill, NC, and studied Journalism and American Studies at Brandeis University. I am a journalist by trade and have been playing ultimate for over half my life. I love nothing more than combining those two interests. Contact me for discussions, feedback, story suggestions, and more on Twitter or Bluesky (@noamgum/@breaksideulti now too!) or email (noamgumerman@gmail.com).